9:11

Very recently a dear old friend of mine suggested that I start a blog. As some of you know, I have sent many emails out over the last year entailing some personal/spiritual experiences and insights I have had that have reminded me of God's love. I wrote those as much for myself as I did for anybody else, because at times I needed reminding!! Even though I felt the Lord leading me to share them, I sort of feared being offensive or coming across as some kind of spiritual know-it-all. I absolutely shudder at the idea of coming across that way, especially since I don't much enjoy being around people that do. I don't mind telling you a bit that there is so much I don't know, so much wisdom I need, and countless areas in which I need to grow. I fail miserably every day at something. I haven't "arrived" by any means, and never will. I am very much a work-in-progress! I am a complete sinner, saved only by His marvelous, magnificent grace. Anything good in or about me is only because of and thanks to Jesus! But when He shows me something that brings me joy or answers a question, I feel like I'm doing Him and everybody a disservice to not share it. It's like He's saying, "Girl, pass it on! They need to know I love them, too!" I sincerely pray that my words here would never become more about me than Him.

One thing I'd readily tell anybody, however, is that I am absolutely starving for wisdom and Truth. I'm not talking about conventional wisdom, either. I'm talking about God's wisdom...the kind that can only be found by going to Him and asking for it. There's not a day that goes by that I don't ask for it, either. It's the kind that has to be sought after--it doesn't come all on it's own. I heard Beth Moore say one time that God holds His wisdom in a closed fist instead of an open hand, and I get that. I don't mind telling you why I'm so hungry for Jesus and His wisdom: I have become very weary with the ways of this world-ways that promise us one thing but deliver another. I'm tired of Satan winning all kinds of battles among His people and within His church. I'm frustrated with the enemy's evil and manipulative schemes, and how he can subtly deceive all of us in one form or another, sometimes very slowly and over time. I've come to grasp that only through and with Godly wisdom can we discern truth from lies and good from evil. I'll be the first to tell you that I need His wisdom desperately. I need it like I need oxygen to breath. Without it, I am a disaster...I've helped create disasters without it, and I'm a disaster waiting to happen if I don't get it.

Speaking of disaster, can we all remember where we were on September 11th, 2001? I'll tell where I was--Washington D.C.. Lee and I had gone up there for a couple of days so he could attend a medical conference. We only had two small children at the time, Ivey and Noah, and we had never been away from them for longer than a day! As a lot of you know, I have a debilitating fear of flying, and I dreaded the trip for that very reason. The idea of traveling in a plane without our kids was something I could hardly stomach, but Lee begged me to go, so I reluctantly agreed. (And FYI, after we landed I was really glad to be there with him!)

The next morning, the 11th, I woke up to the phone ringing in our room. Lee had already gone to his meeting somewhere in the hotel, so I was alone. It was his mom, and she was sobbing! My thoughts immediately turned to my children. I knew something must have happened to them, and I shot up in the bed. I kept asking, "Are my kids okay? Are my kids okay?!" She said yes but kept telling me to turn on the television. I was so groggy and disoriented that I couldn't really absorb what I was hearing. Once I could fathom the enormity of what was going on--that the Pentagon (which was in sight of our hotel) had been hit--panic set in. I began searching frantically for Lee in a hotel the size of the Galleria mall, only to find mobs of people scurrying around like ants on an ant hill. It was madness.

Once we found each other, we hugged and cried, and tried to figure out how in the world we were going to get out of there. For all we knew, the city was going to be bombed! I remember Lee saying to me there in our hotel room while watching Peter Jennings, "You know, it's not an accident or coincidence that we're here right now. God has a reason for this--for us being here." I have never forgotten those words and even agreed with them, yet I have wondered for many years what God's reason(s) really were.

A couple of years ago, Lee and I were able to go on another short trip down to the Mobile Bay in Point Clear. We had been there several times in the past and absolutely loved it...every square inch of that area is picturesque! We left our (4) children with Lee's parents, and thankfully didn't have to fly this time! We decided to go there simply because we desperately needed to be alone. Our family had encountered it's own 9/11. We needed time to talk, pray, love, share, and sleep. We needed each other, and we needed God. We clung to each other the same way we did in DC, but even more tightly. It was one of the most special weekends of my entire life, bar none. One thing Lee shared with me was how sometimes he felt like God was reminding him of His love by showing him the numbers 434. Lee's favorite verse in the Bible is Isaiah 43:4, and every once in a while, he'd see those numbers either on a digital clock, on a page, on a license plate, or somewhere kind of random. He said that it would always bring him comfort, like the Lord was sort of winking at him and saying, "I'm here." It wasn't even an hour after he told me about that, in fact, that we had gone on a bike ride together and saw 434 on a licence plate! I couldn't believe it!

I told Lee while we were there that I had similar experiences, except with the number 911. I told him that I had no idea what that meant, but that nearly every time I looked at the clock, it would say, 9:11! Even while we were in Point Clear, it happened. I couldn't tie it to a Bible verse like Lee could, or get it to make any sense at all except to remind me of the chaos in DC, but it seemed like I saw those numbers all the time. I still do. When I see them, I look at Lee and say, "Well, there they are again. Gotta mean something." I've always written it off as just a fluke.

You know, when any of us hear the words "September 11th," or "nine-eleven," our minds and hearts are immediately brought to that disastrous day in our country. There's not as much talk about it on television these days except when the anniversary comes up. Just like the assassination of JFK, or the Challenger explosion, we can all remember where we were when 9/11 happened. For me and Lee, we were right there in the middle of the action, it seemed...maybe a couple of miles away from the plane crash. Like Lee said, it really wasn't by coincidence that we were there. I think I understand now. When I see the numbers on the clock, (and I bet I see them every day-sometimes twice a day) I, too, feel the Lord winking and saying to me, "I'm here." Those numbers don't just remind me of all of my life's disasters--those I've caused and those that were inflicted upon me. They remind of God's steadfast presence in my life. God was right there!! He was there before they happened, when they happened, and after they happened. He was there with us in that Washington hotel room, He was with us in Point Clear, and He's still with me right now as I sit here. He was and is never far from me, and guess what? He's never far from you! All He wants is for me and all of us to seek Him and His infinite wisdom in every circumstance...in the chaos and even in the calm of the storm. The Lord wants us to go to Him, run to Him, and fall into His grace. And when we seek Him, we will surely find Him! His word tells us that we will never seek Him in vain-NEVER!

What is your 9/11, dear friend? Whatever it is, whatever it was, whatever it may be, God is with you. If Jesus is your Savior, He hasn't and will never, ever leave you. He dwells within you, and you are sealed until the day of redemption! What a wonderful comfort! Oh, how He loves you so much! His Word guarantees us that we will have some trouble in this world. And we do-Amen? It is my deepest prayer, though, that in good times, and in times of uncertainty, fear, or even down-right disaster we will cling to Him and seek His face with all our hearts! When we do, I promise you that we'll find surpassing peace and joy on the other side. Take heart, fellow sojourner: He has overcome the world!

Isaiah 43:2-3 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you; when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (3) For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior..."